


Back Again

by ButterFlyEffect



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, Titans, tradgedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 15:43:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1475236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterFlyEffect/pseuds/ButterFlyEffect
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is where it began and this is where it will end. I wish it didn't have to be like this.</p>
<p>(Eren Jaeger x Reader)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Back Again

**Author's Note:**

> Like some of my other fanfics, if you have read this one before, it's because I uploaded it to my anime amino as well.

I remember, back when I was a little girl, such a far away time, before the fall of Wall Maria, I used to know someone. Not that it matters now, when I am dying, but it was someone very important to me.

He was a boy who was around about the same age as me, with short tousled brown hair and a pair of large eyes that were made of the most beautiful colour I cannot describe. To me, they were a mixture of all colours, green, blue, grey, orange… I try to remember them now, as I watch the blood spurting from my open wound and my eyes begin to cloud. Not, that it matters now, when I am dying, but his name was Eren.

A little boy who fought desperately against the unfairness of life, Eren Jaeger.

There is no way to save me now, and so, I want to live my last moments thinking about him. I suppose leaving him now is my biggest regret.

I’m not ready to die; my life has been so short and meaningless. I am just one of the many damned souls being lost in an endless and hopeless struggle. I must have known the moment I joined the Survey Corps, that this was going to become my inevitable fate, but some ignorant part of myself seemed to think I was special in some way; that I was invincible.

How foolish. I see that now. I should have known that this would pull us apart eventually.

I remember the first time I met Eren. I can see it clearly now, as if it were yesterday.

I see a little girl with a dirty face and tangled (hair colour) hair. She is running, so innocent, so carefree down her track, her little place. The path is something she discovered during the last spring. Whenever she is sad, lonely, or bored, this track is her track and her butterflies will keep her company and comfort her by dancing elegantly through the air, proudly showing off their colourful wings.

But this time she is not alone. A boy is also there. My eyes soften with nostalgia as I watch the little girl walk hesitantly towards him. She is not sure how to feel, now that somebody else knows her track. It is her track, is it not? He shouldn’t be here.

Nonetheless, the girl says something to the boy and stretches out her hand. The boy looks at her and then looks away, ignoring her gesture. An obvious rejection. I feel the smallest smile spread across my face as the girl begins to shout and complain and stamp her foot.

This is the first time I met Eren. He was so annoying, but for some reason I was unable to forget about the boy who had found my track.

The second time the little girl sees the boy is by the river. He sits, staring apathetically across the rippling surface. The girl tries to walk past, but something stops her. The boy is all alone? Does he not have friends?

I watch tiredly as the girl, once again, approaches the little boy. She feels an odd connection to this boy. But why, she cannot tell.

She crouches down next to the boy. Then she opens her mouth and speaks. I think she is introducing herself. The boy looks away and mutters something. Now the girl knows his name. It is Eren. The little girl is delighted. The expression of obvious delight on her round face makes this fact clear.

I sigh as I think back towards the numerous times I seemed to run into him after that. At first it was coincidental, but eventually we began to seek each other out deliberately. Smiling gently, I remember the countless times we played in the stream or under the freshly washed blankets or read books with Armin.

The memories are so clear, so vivid, and yet these times seem so far away, unreachable.

My smile fades as I remember the following part of the girls story. I watch in a horrified fascination as a huge hand reaches over the wall. There is a moment of complete silence as the girl and her friends watch, unable to process its meaning. A head is also visible now, as the giant fixes the entire district of Shiganshina with its terrible stare.

Next there is an audible crash, a sound that I have remembered all through my recent years, right up until now, my death. I wonder if I would always have remembered it, had I had the chance to live a full life.

The wall is breached and suddenly there is an outbreak of panic. The titans have breached the wall. Eren and the girl with the dark hair run back towards their house in search of their mother. In her heart the girl wants to follow him, but her head knows she cannot.

Instead, she runs, with a heavy feeling in her heart. She is fully aware of the fact that she might loose her most precious friend. But the girl is sensible; she knows that she must preserve her own life. She does not want to die.

I remember how fast my heart beat with relief when I realized that he had also made it to the ship. Even now I can feel my weakening heart beginning to speed up ever so slightly. I know this will most likely shorten what previous time I have left, but what do I have left to loose? Now that I am dying, there is no hope for me any more. At least I do not have to die in the jaws of a titan.

I remember our struggle for food and shelter in the years that followed. Everyone knew that living in these conditions was becoming increasingly impossible.

Knowing this, the order was given to return to Wall Maria and attempt to rebuild it. All those old enough were sent away; families were separated; friendships torn apart. I see the girl being forcibly being carried away, screaming, as her parents are sent away. Nobody went without losses. Needless to say, there were few survivors.

My vision is beginning to fade, but I force myself to stay awake for just a bit longer. I want to see the story end. I see the Eren and Mikasa standing over the little girl and the blond boy next to her. They are having a heated discussion. The girl attempts to hold back tears of loss and fear of that which is to come as she pledges to follow Eren, into the military. The girl with the scarf and the boy with the blond hair soon follow.

Then came our days as trainees. The conditions were horrible. Our food was bland; we were pushed to our limit; we were beaten and bruised. More than once I thought about deserting; only Eren held me where I was. If I left him, I would be leaving all I had.

At the time I thought it couldn’t get any worse. How wrong I was. How ignorant. If only I had deserted back then. Maybe I would have been able to build a new life for myself.

Only one memory other than particularly stands out to me. I allow my eyes to close for the last time as I remember.

I can see the girl standing on the wall. Her hair, now cut short, waves backwards and forwards in the wind. Fresh bruises and cuts can be seen on her face and hands. Despite this, her face is calm and peaceful. She is looking with a kind of longing across the vast stretch of land between Wall Rose and Wall Maria, back towards her old district. She remembers her home, the faces of her parents and her little track.

Then I see a new figure. It has short tousled brown hair and pair of hard eyes that were made of a mixture of all colours, green, blue, grey and orange… He walks carefully towards the girl, so as not to startle her and moves up silently beside her. For a while the pair stand together in silence, side by side. Then Eren opens his mouth and speaks.

I feel another weak smile spreading across my face as a familiar voice drifts into my head.

“We will go back there some day. You and me, (name). I promise.”

Well, I am here Eren, I think to myself. This is where our story began and this is where it will end.

With that thought running across my mind, I let out a final sigh and released my grip on my consciousness.

Farewell, Eren. Until we meet again.


End file.
